My Name

inspired by and an imitation of My Name poem by Sandra Cisneros

In English, my Chinese name doesn’t have a meaning. It’s just a few letters that English speakers always have a hard time pronouncing. Yangtze? Yang...ze? Yanze? You can just call me Jenny—an English name that I give to myself to make things easier in a foreign land.

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I love the name, Jenny, though. It sounds beautiful to me and it looks cute. It does not end with an ie, and it’s not a nickname for Jennifer. But it’s Jenny, the English name of an international student who has spent years in the United States. In English, Jenny means “white, soft, and fair.” That’s also how I try to make myself appear. When at times I feel like a stranger, I hide the part of me that’s vivacious and argumentative. But one of the Mean Girls is also named Jenny, right? So I guess I still need some time to make this Jenny purely mine.

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Wang Yanzhi is 王彦智 in Chinese. It looks the same in both simplified and traditional Chinese. It

was given by my grandpa who took three days to research the Fengshui and Wuhang implied by these three characters. Yet it sounds like a boy name, and I was the first baby whoever owned it in my city. I’m still the only one, whether it’s true or not, that’s what my mom tells me. And I choose to believe it.

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In Chinese, my name means “worthy and wise.” It sounds like great anticipation from my family, but I was never told; I had to search online. Great expectations also mean great pressure, which they don’t want to put on my shoulder. It is I who get to define the wisdom of my name. Born in a family wanting in education, I’m lucky enough to be where I am. A place where I’m known as Jenny, a place that I would love my family to visit when there is a chance.