After turning 18, I left my hometown to study and live in the United States. Once, my roommate asked me, "Hey, it seems like you don't video chat with your parents much." I paused at that. Indeed, it seemed like I didn't share much about my daily life with my parents, nor did I feel particularly homesick while pursuing my studies abroad.
What did homesickness mean to me?
I reflected on the relatively independent lifestyles we had back home. My parents were consumed in their own careers, and I didn't require their involvement in my studies or daily life, though I still relied on their financial support. Once, my emotions were deeply intertwined with their every move, but now, distance seemed to have quietly fostered a sense of detachment from family affairs.
Still, I clung to the notion of "home," the place where I was born and was raised, despite feeling distanced from the events that unfolded there. It's just that everything that happened there felt more like distant ties of the past.
Studying human development in college, I encountered the concept of the "internal working model" while learning about attachment styles. It suggests that the relationship and interaction between children and their parents during infancy can influence the formation and nature of future intimate relationships.
I remained noncommittal. Though childhood memories occasionally resurfaced in my subconscious, they didn't seem as significant to me now that I was grown. It's still about looking forward, regardless of the past's weight.